Wednesday, July 19, 2017

Rap Stars & their NFL Equivalent (New)

Kanye West = Terrell Owens

Yeah, yeah...I teased posting my next one using Pac and Biggie. But fuck that, this is way more entertaining, plus I want to keep you reading these! If this one isn’t spot on I don’t know what is. These guys shared the 00’s as two of the biggest superstars and the biggest heels in their respective fields of employment. They also won all the Grammy’s, scored all the touchdowns, and pissed off all the white people.

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Terrell Owens started off as the third option on a 49ers team that had Jerry Rice on it. He played for a small college at University of Tennessee Chattanooga and never recorded more than 724 yards during a season in college. He wasn’t drafted until the 3rd round, and that was only because of his speed and size, not his production. Needless to say, T.O. had a fucking chip on his shoulder. In 1998 Owens made one of the greatest catches of all-time against the Packers in the playoffs and never looked back. It seems like Owens is more recognized these days for his brash “fuck you, I’m great” attitude and his celebrations and publicity stunts than for his play on the field. He was arguably the best receiver of his time along with Randy Moss, and has his name etched in the record books as the 2nd in total yards (15,934), and 3rd in touchdowns (153). To this day, everyone remembers him as the motherfucker that called Jeff Garcia a fag, signed a football with a Sharpie after a touchdown, slammed the ball on the star at Texas stadium (twice), threw popcorn in his face after a touchdown, and cried behind shades because Tony Romo was “his Quarterback”. But he was also the most dominant, productive, and entertaining player in the sport...and he played the Super Bowl on a broken leg and torn ligament for 9 catches and 122 yards after only running for 2 weeks. T.O. was an undeniable beast. One of the best ever. Fuck you if you’re a hater.

(These dudes are so badass they need two side by side pics.)
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Kanye West started off slow. He toiled in obscurity making beats for local Chicago rappers for years before he got work on a Foxy Brown record, and later Roc-A-Fella records. Nobody took him serious as a rapper despite several attempts to get a record deal. Needless to say, Kanye had a fucking chip on his shoulder. Kanye produced records for the likes of Jay-Z, Cam’Ron, Common, Alicia Keys, Ma$e, Janet Jackson, and Ludacris. He was looked at as a producer, and only to keep him from signing with another label Dame Dash of Roc-A-Fella records signed him as a rapper. After a near fatal car accident in 2002, Kanye released “Through the Wire”, a hit he recorded with his jaw wired shut that showcased his grit and rhyme spitting ability. After that Kanye released two of the best hip-hop albums of the decade “College Dropout” and “Late Registration”. And later was able to push the envelope with albums like “808’s and Heartbreak and the smash hit “Watch the Throne” with Jay-Z. Despite all of his critical acclaim including 21 Grammys and the record for having the most consecutive albums to debut at number 1 on the Billboard 200, Kanye is still most recognized for his publicity and celebrity antics. He once said that “George Bush does not care about black people” on live TV during a hurricane Katrina benefit, he also allegedly kicked a reporter in the nuts, stole the mic from Taylor Swift at an awards show because he thought Beyonce had a better video, and used to date the very promiscuous Amber Rose before finally marrying Kim Kardashian who is famous from behind for her role in a Ray J sex tape and shitty reality TV show. He has been filmed several times being a dickhead to reporters, and his “mad face” is known nationwide. Kanye is an undeniable beast making beats and his rap style is one of the most entertaining of all-time. I fucking love Kanye and Terrell Owens because they are great at being the most talented, unapologetic assholes around. Shout out to Iron Shiek and Floyd Mayweather Jr. Fuck yall haters.

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